an offer he can't refuse
by sugar free vanilla
Summary: "She stares after him as he walks out of her workplace and out of her life, too afraid to speak the words that would let her keep him." Instead of in 2x05, Castle receives the James Bond offer post-47 Seconds. Oneshot.


**So I started this ages ago, but never finished - tonight I read a prompt on tumblr exploring the same scenario and decided to finish it off. Complete, for now, because I'm not in a mood for a happy ending.**

**This is set post-47 seconds, when the Limey should be. It's a different case, though, because Detective Inspector Colin Hunt and his terrible English accent are not welcome in my witching hour ramblings. **

**I messed with some other stuff from canon - in this Castle never received the offer in season 2 (and also I mucked with Alexis' college preferences and date of opening. But that's a highly irrelevant detail so please just ignore me right now).**

**Sorry for any mistakes - most of this got written in the last two hours and it is the middle of the night and my sleep deprived brain cannot be held responsible for typos and/or grammatical errors and/or nonsensical imagery.**

When Paula calls for the twelfth time in an hour, Castle finally gives in and answers the phone.

"Paula, this really isn't a good time." It's a sullen mutter that escapes his lips. Right now? He feels like there'll never be a good time again.

He pours himself another scotch.

"Well, _make _it a good time, Rick. Because I have some very excellent news for you." He winces at his agent's squawk, turns down his phone's call volume. "They're relaunching a major franchise… It's a three book deal. And you're at the top of their list. If you want it, it's yours - and trust me, you want it."

"Care to tell me _which_ franchise this is?" Despite his best efforts, he sounds thoroughly disinterested. He necks back the alcohol, relishing the burn in his throat.

"A certain British secret agent." She says it casually but her smirk is practically audible.

His glass drops from his hand, landing on the carpet with a muffled _thump _as the last trickle of amber liquid spills out. "_No."_

"_Yes. _James Bond. You need to think it over? I know you're rather... _attached _to Nikki Heat. Or the inspiration for her, at least."

Anger tears through him for the briefest of moments, buoying him until the crushing weight of grief pushes him back down into his depression, "_I was shot in the chest and I remember every second of it" _ringing through his ears in a deafening chorus of deceit and betrayal.

The words spill from his lips before he even knows what he's saying. "No, no - I don't need to think about it. Tell them I'll take it." Bitterness curdles his words, excitement soured by the hurt Kate had caused him with her lie. So he swallows it down, summons his childhood love for the spy. It acts like a damp cloth to soothe the fever of his anguish and he can regain some of the elation he knows he'd be feeling were he to be offered this pre-Beckett. "James Bond!"

"You're making the right decision, Rick! I'll sort the contracts, don't you worry 'bout a thing."

"You're the best, Paula."

"Don't you forget it!" He hears her bark a few indistinct words at an assistant before the line goes dead and he sinks into his chair, scooping the glass from where it lies upon the floor.

An incredible new project - the character who drove him to become an author, no less - and an excuse to stop shadowing Beckett, give him a chance to get over her. Maybe, once he's finished with Bond, he'll return to Nikki.

Or perhaps he won't.

* * *

Kate arrives at the precinct, on edge. Castle hadn't shown up at the crime scene and she needs to talk to him before she loses her nerve, before she retreats behind walls that are almost down.

Lanie has a way of making things clear - and now it's crystal to Beckett that she needs to tell Castle how she feels before he pulls away from her completely. Bile rises in her throat, the thought of losing him now when she's so nearly ready to be more with him choking her.

The elevator opens and Castle strides out, posture straight and tight. One arm is stiff at his side, the other hand clutching a single cup of coffee.

Part of her feels like she might throw up or cry or beg him to tell her what she's done, why he's forcing distance between them when she wants anything but. Her rational mind tells her it's _just coffee, _urges her to calm down. A much louder voice insists that coffee between them could never be described as _just_. Forcing a smile, she greets him. "Hey, Castle."

"Detective." He nods, face stony.

"You okay?" She falters, insecurity displayed on her face for just a second before she can recover her composure.

He shuts his eyes for a long second. He's looser when he opens them, shoulders dropping and that cocky grin playing on his lips. "I am _great_, thanks for asking."

"Oh?" She's thrown by the way his mood rocketed from grim to arrogant satisfaction in the space of a second. Wonders if he inherited more of his mother's acting talent than he's ever let on.

"I have received an offer - extremely lucrative, might I add - to write three books about an infamous British secret agent. You might know him." He stretches his legs out as he sinks into the chair beside her desk, smug expression firmly etched in his features.

"James Bond? No way!" Pride surges through her with immense strength - until it dawns on her that if he's writing Bond, he won't be writing Nikki. And suddenly the feeling is crushing her, instead of streaming through her veins; like she had been the waterfall, and now she's standing under it, ready to collapse from the force. "What - what about Nikki?" Her attempt to sound casual fails miserably, desperation bleeding into her voice.

He shrugs. "Frozen Heat is pretty much done, bar a chapter or two. And that's the end of the contract. Thought I'd drop by and tell you that you're a free woman!"

It's possible her heart stops as any trace of colour leaches from her face. "You're - leaving?"

"Well, yes - I'll need to concentrate on Bond. I was thinking about moving to England for a while, actually."

England. She's going to be sick, she really is.

"What about Alexis?"

"She opened her college acceptance letters earlier - she got into Oxford, and she'd already decided she wants to go, so there's no problem there."

"Didn't she get into Stanford? I thought she had her heart set on going there?" Kate blurts because _no no no_ he can't leave the precinct and he can't leave her and _oh god _he cannot leave _America_.

His eyes cut to her sharply, ice in his eyes contrasting with his otherwise jovial demeanour. "She feels like she was betrayed. That's hard to get over."

_Betrayed? _She hasn't a clue why it feels like he's accusing her, of what she's done to deserve it.

"Castle-"

But he's already out of his seat.

"Espo, Ryan! I have come to say farewell, and offer you both joint custody of my ferrari while I'm away."

"Away? Where you goin'?" Espo grunts, greeting Castle with a friendly punch to the arm.

"England."

"Book tour? How long are you going for?" Ryan asks pleasantly, dumping a pile of folders onto his desk.

"Nah. And I'm not sure yet. A year maybe. I wanna get a feel for the culture."

"A year?!" Esposito reels back, casts a sidelong glance Kate's way. "Why?"

"Yeah, man, what about-" Ryan hesitates, the word _Beckett _hovering in the air as he pauses. "-Nikki Heat?"

"I've accepted a deal to relaunch the James Bond franchise, three books. An offer I can't refuse." She bites back a bitter _You could. You could refuse _as he thanks the boys for their congratulatory comments, exchanges claps to the shoulder with both of them. "As for Nikki Heat… It was great while it lasted. But I think I'm done with her."

_Done with her. _Shit.

Beckett stands abruptly. "Ladies' room." She gives by way of explanation as Ryan shoots her a look. Hustles out of the bull pen as quickly as she can, pretending not to hear the "Dude, what the _fuck_?" from Esposito and Castle's answer.

"What? Detective Beckett would be the first to say she isn't Nikki Heat."

Except Castle would be the first to say she _is._

Safely hidden away in a cubicle, Kate crumples, silent sobs wracking her body even as she refuses to cry. Won't emerge with puffy red eyes and streaky makeup. Refuses, even now to show how she feels about him. _ loved you, and you made him wait. You took too long and now he's leaving._

She knows this is her fault. That feeding him the occasional crumb of affection wouldn't be enough. But she'd hoped that it would be, until she was ready to give him more. She sees now that such a thing was too much to ask of him.

He's leaving.

She reenters the precinct just as Castle announces he's going to give Gates the good news, saunters to the Captain's office. Instantly, the boys are on her.

"You okay, Beckett?" The sympathy in Ryan's blue eyes is too much for her to endure so she turns to Espo, who she can always count on to be stoic - except, uh, now, it seems. His gaze is as pitying as his partner's and she's forced to swallow the lump in her throat.

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?" Her tone is lighter than she'd have thought herself capable of managing but the two men are detectives, not easily fooled.

"Don't feed us that crap, Beckett. Everyone in this precinct know you and Castle have _something._" Ryan states earnestly, only a hint of irritation colouring his tone.

"He's my partner. We're friends. I'm sure we'll meet up when he's home." She isn't sure at all. Doesn't know if she'll ever see him again once he walks out that door.

"Cut the bullshit. _We _are your friends. Castle may be your partner, but don't tell me you think of him the same way you do us.

"You two are like brothers to me!"

"Exactly. And Castle isn't - I don't know what's going on with the two of you. _Hell, _none of us have had a clue about that for the last three years. But chica, you're gonna lose him and you can't expect us to believe that isn't killing you."

_Slowly and painfully_, she wants to say, but she doesn't. "You know what's killing me? The fact that we have a _case _and instead of working, we're standing around gossiping. Ryan, get the vic's financials. See if you can find out how a kid working in a convenience store can afford a brand new ten thousand dollar watch. Espo, go see if Tory can scrub anything from his laptop." Neither of them even makes to move, just fold their arms and stand their ground. She almost laughs. Like they've ever been able to stare her down.

But then Castle is striding over looking adorably bewildered. "She- she said she'd _miss _having me around?" The disbelief in his voice turns the statement to a question.

"Yeah, well. Maybe you should stay." Ryan suggests.

"If you can still get books written while coming here now, there's no reason you can't keep on, bro. If you don't move to England." Espo adds.

Castle smiles, but it's a weak thing. A shadow of its normal brilliance. "Nice to know you'll miss me, guys. But, carrying on here isn't really an option."

_Of course it is! _Kate wants to scream, beg him not to go. Instead, she fixes her gaze firmly on the floor as he says his goodbyes to the boys, only lifting them to follow the arc his car keys make through the air as he tosses them to Ryan. Can't watch as he jokes with the pair in the bull pen for what sounds to be the last time. Can't bear to see the mens' embraces, even Espo bestowing a rare hug on the writer.

"You take care, Detective." He nods to her. And then turns around, making for the elevator, leaving all three detectives stunned.

It tears her apart from the inside, his casual dismissal of her as he removes himself from her life. It's almost enough to have her feet glued to the spot. Almost.

But she's angry, confused too, and that drives her forward so that she slips through the elevator doors at the last possible moment.

"Beckett - what?" The laid-back demeanour he'd been channelling at the precinct was gone. He looked exhausted and sad, so sad. His features were set, but halfheartedly - as if he was trying to be angry but the fight was gone from him.

"You do _not_ get to leave without telling me what I did." Her voice cracks on the word 'leave' and she curses the treacherous thing.

He is completely emotionless when he speaks; it chills her heart and Kate wishes he would at least sound angry, or upset or whatever. As long as he felt _something_ towards her. "I really don't believe that's up to you, Detective.

"Castle. _Rick._" She pleads, anger leached from her by the emptiness of his tone, like his indifferent words are a black hole sucking her fury away, consuming everything until all that's left are the vestiges of desperation that linger in her throat, tainting her words.

"Goodbye, Kate." His speech is softer now, but there's a finality to it that causes dread to wrap around her chest, constricting her lungs so that she can barely breathe.

_What happened to 'always'?_ She wants to ask. _You promised me always._

The words are ready to tumble from her mouth, loaded with the power to make him explain, give a reason for why his vow has been rendered null. But she presses her lips together, unwilling to make herself vulnerable even now, unable to entertain the possibility of being perceived as weak. Incapable of seeing that honesty will only make her stronger in his eyes.

She watches in silence as he steps out the opening doors. Studies his retreating form as he exits the precinct, not looking back.

Forces barricades around her heart, before it can shatter beyond repair. The jagged shards ricochet off of the steel shutters she's erected around it, unassailable walls back and stronger than ever.

She stares after him as he walks out of her workplace and out of her life, too afraid to speak the words that would let her keep him.

_I love you Castle. Don't go. Please, will you stay?_

All she's ever had to do is ask.


End file.
